The Random Pony's Characters

[The Random Pony]

Name:
Dusk
Age:
18
Race:
Human (American)

Gender:
Female

Height:
5'8



Companion: Not Yet

RP Colour: 4a4a4a



Physical Appearance & Apparel:

She wears black sunglasses that show only a little it of her baby blue eyes but most of the time the glasses are off she usually resting on her forehead she wears torn up jeans and I black snug fitting T-Shirt with a iron pendant dangling from her neck and a iron charm bracelet around her wrist she is a small person and from first glance really easy overpower but not once you try.



Magic Type: None Yet


Skills & Abilities: None Yet

[Lady Whimsy]

Welcome, Random! Great start to your character, now let's get into the nitty-gritty details so she can be a full-fledged person in the RP

Since it's just a brief profile and I don't expect you to know everything about the character yet, I think there are some holes in her backstory that need to be filled in a bit to make her more three-dimensional. My first question comes about her home life - foster kids are not thrown out of the system at age 12, that simply isn't done (although they might throw them in juvie if they're really bad...) However, it is very plausible that she chose to run away from her foster home (and in a lot of cases, nobody comes looking for them). However, having a 12 year old runaway on the streets means you have a fairly gritty story on your hands. How did your character survive? How did she avoid the police? gangs? drugs and violence? Or did she? Statistics for a child on the street aren't pretty, and Dusk isn't a superhero (yet? XD) She also then essentially has a 6ths grade education, too, which cuts her off from a lot of worldly experience to draw from as well.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but I do want it to be plausible Every part of Dusk's life made her what she is, gave her her strengths, and her limitations. Think on that a little and flesh out her profile a bit more; I think that will help a lot with "grounding" Dusk's character and making it whole

[The Random Pony]

ok how about this she ran away and lived in abandoned houses and when they were about to be bought she ran to another one and Dusk was about annoying as a stray dog when it came to food she would stand in the shadows and wait for a butcher to pull out parts that they didn't want or drop a piece then she would grab and cook it on a bonfire she made herself. X3

[Lady Whimsy]

Hmm, I think that might have worked Charles Dicken's time, but not today. Today, Butchers don't really have "scraps" - all the bits of meat are recycled and reclaimed, bones are sold as dog food etc. Also, burning fires would attract other vagrants and who knows what else, provided she was actually able to start fires (how would she know how to start them from scratch? and where would she get matches, lighters, etc?) And stealing in general isn't as easy today in our high-tech, security camera world!

It seems to me as if you have a clash of two worlds happening here - a young goth girl, or a 19th century runaway. Unfortunately the two are not the same XD So I think you need to decide what is more important about your character: that she is a young girl who indulges in the goth lifestyle and has chosen to call herself "Dusk", in which case you need to come up with how she supports this lifestyle (the clothes, hair, make-up, jewellery etc). Or is she an orphan from days of old who grew up entirely on her own, by her wits, in a much less gritty, industrialized world than we have now? Of course in that world, the goth lifestyle didn't exist, so she would need a proper Victorian-ear name or nickname

It sounds to me like your character is a touch more of the latter, but she's your character, so you make the call. (Or maybe you actually have TWO characters here - and having more than one character is never a bad thing, although I recommend polishing up ONE first before you RP, hehe!)

Once that is sorted out, and I feel you have a good grasp of your character and world, your character will be approved


Oh - and I think the reason your avatar didn't show up in the first is because you posted as a guest before your account was approved. Are you able to edit that post to make the changes to your profile? If not, I'll delete that one after you copy and past the info into your second post, which should be editable without any issues

[The Random Pony]

Hmm that is hard to think off and you are right it does sound odd I just was thinking something around like that but I could say "The Person That She Lost" when she ran away was a semi-goth (If you get what I mean) and I guess she ran into the woods and that person just happen to live there and he taught her how to survive like he made her a bow and made her arrows and such like that and then when she learned I guess somehow (Still haven't figured out all the details about it) he died. That sounds a little better to me and such.

[Lady Whimsy]

I am starting to get the feeling that this "Person That She Lost" needs to be fleshed out a whole lot more, because it is SO key to her character, and why she is at the point in her life she is now! These are the kind of juicy details we love to have as writers, because it is what fuels us - and our characters

I'm also getting some other vibes about the character that might be worth considering:

Firstly, did she really spend three years outside of society? In this day and age, that's hard for an adult to do, let alone a kid. It adds a lot of complex problems that don't seem to be a part of your character's experience. Your character is feeling a lot younger and more innocent than a street-hardened teen who's been making it on their own, even from the initial read.

Secondly, the "Big Event" in your character's life seems to be the death of "The Person That She Lost", rather than being orphaned or a runaway. If that is true, then what if loosing that person WAS the thing that makes her a runaway in the first place?

Remember - at the time we "meet" her in Kalidore, she doesn't have to have been a runaway very long. Maybe only a few weeks, months, etc. That saves A LOT of back story, and a lot of unanswered questions. She could be younger (or older, whatever suits!) she could still be goth, and suddenly you have a cinching motive that puts her story into motion without any nasty loose ends!

I don't want to put words in your mouth, or change a direction you feel strongly about, but I DO want you to have a vibrant, realistic, and enigmatic character whom you know inside and out, and can portray with comfort and ease - and enjoy doing it. For me, the juicy details is where the joy is; once you have them, they can be pulled out when you're writing to colour the experience even more

I hope this is helpful, and not overbearing nor overwhelming - we simply really love our character building, it's truly almost as much fun as RPing itself!

[The Random Pony]

Actually you suggesting her not being a runaway for a long time make much more sense I think I might go with that but the question at hand is WHY she ran away and I think I might have the answer for that. I have 3 ideas, 1. She ran away because she didn't feel like she belonged, 2. She ran away because she was going to be adopted and she didn't want to be or 3. She ran away because when she found out who was a adopting her she knew them but couldn't remember where and she remembered they were mean. How does that sound? (Just starting to get into RP) X3

[Lady Whimsy]

Hmmm... I think #1 makes the most sense Almost anyone can relate to not feeling like they belong; it's practically part of the human condition! Especially if she's pushing the goth style, a more conservative foster family might feel overbearing to her. And, when all you have is yourself, sometimes saving that sense of self is all you've got!

[The Random Pony]

Ok lets go with 1 then I can agree with that X3 I can't wait to play her and her semi-gothiness! XD

[The Random Pony]

Umm is Dusk approved yet or... I'm confused X3

[Lady Whimsy]

I was waiting for you to make the amendments to her profile Are you able to edit the first post? I can delete it for you if not, your second post should workable. Once her Profile is up-to-date & fleshed out to reflects the new details we've discussed, I think she'll be a shoe-in

[The Random Pony]

Nope can't edit it just yet.... but I will post a new one (Sorry for not being on got sidetracked)


Name:
Dusk
Age:
18
Race:
Human (American)

Gender:
Female

Height:
5'8





Companion: Not Yet

RP Colour: 4a4a4a





Physical Appearance & Apparel:

She wears black sunglasses that show only a little it of her baby blue eyes but most of the time the glasses are off she usually resting on her forehead she wears torn up jeans and I black snug fitting T-Shirt with a iron pendant dangling from her neck and a iron charm bracelet around her wrist she is a small person and from first glance really easy overpower but not once you try.




Magic Type: None Yet





Skills & Abilities: None Yet









Personality Strengths & Weakness:
 Dusk cares mainly about nothing but what is set ahead of her
which can lead her in many problems

Relationships:
 Dusk doesn't know who her parents are





Character History:

Where on earth is your companion from?: America

What era is your your companion from?: Current

What first brought her and her unicorn together?

"She doesn't have a Unicorn yet
"




Back Story: Dusk is an outsider not really knowing who her parents are she was in a adoption home but she felt like she didn't belong there so she ran away at the age of 18 and while exploring the woods was when she first saw the portal but with her beliefs of NOTHING magical she shied away for a week but curiosity made her go forward into the portal.

[The Random Pony]

better?

[Lady Whimsy]

I removed the uneditable post for you & pasted your new profile in the top post. You should be able to edit it further as need now

And yes, I think you have a better grasp on Dusk now, and you can always add more details to her profile. Do take the time to read a couple pages back in the RP so you know what you're jumping into and you're good to go!